


Bloodletting

by Adictedtobadguys56



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Character Death, Cutting, I Love You, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 12:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2693528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adictedtobadguys56/pseuds/Adictedtobadguys56
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles doesn't think he can take it anymore. Scott has only been gone for a few days, but his world is already crashing down around him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bloodletting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DefenestratingDanika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefenestratingDanika/gifts), [Wolfheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfheart/gifts).



> Please note this fic has major triggers in it. This story deals Stiles cutting so if you can not deal with this please don't read it. He does cut in this fic so please if it's going to trigger you turn back now.

“You want to know what it’s like?” Stiles turned to Lydia his chest rising and falling quickly as his eyes glared at her. They were wild with a fire she had never seen before.

“It’s like losing a part of myself, and I can’t take that,” Stiles said shaking his head as he fell back down onto his bed. Lydia pursed her lips and sat next to him placing her hand on his knee.

“Stiles I know this is hard, but I’m here for you,” She said softly as she took a hold of his hand. Stiles yanked it away and turned his back to Lydia. He couldn’t cry in front of Lydia Martin. Lydia Martin had ignored him for so many years, and now they were close. So close that it should be more of a relationship than a friendship.

“Lydia will you just leave already? Look just go with my dad and I-I’ll meet you two there,” He said. Lydia gave a silent nod before following his instructions. She knew better than to argue with Stiles the only person who was any good at that was Scott, and he wasn’t here to help her out on this one.

As soon as she was gone Stiles broke. He gripped his hair in a tight fist as he hunched over. His breaths hitched in his chest as he shook with an unseen coldness. He wanted to reach out for his phone and make a phone call that would save him, but he couldn’t. Stiles was trapped in a reality that he refused to acknowledge existed. 

“S-Scott,” Stiles choked out as he gasped for air. His chest felt tight, and panic started to ensue. Without Scott here what was he supposed to do. Without Scott what would the pack do? Their alpha was dead and gone, and no one seemed to be taking it half as hard as Stiles. 

Of course, everyone cried. Everyone mourned in their way, but not this time. No, this was about Scott everyone should be crushed. Scott was the best person who ever walked the earth. He gave his life to save Stiles. Maybe that's why his death hit him so hard. If only Stiles had taken, the bite Scott wouldn't have had to protect him. 

“Damn it!” Stiles yelled, his fist coming down on his leg. The pain flowed over him quickly making Stiles realize that as long as he was in pain he didn’t have to worry about the pain of Scott. It was a childish realization. Like how when you fell another kid would punch you in the arm and say something like ‘now you’re not thinking about the pain from your knee.’ Okay truth be told Stiles had done that to Scott too many times to count, but this wasn’t about the past. This was about that little voice in Stiles head telling him that he needed the pain. He needed to be reminded that this was a harsh reality. 

Stiles jumped up and quickly rushed to his desk. He digs through it, looking for that chinese wing dagger that Allison had given him. It was for protection, but the lines between reality and fantasy were fading. He needed something to make it come back into focus, so he pulled it out and looked at it. His eyes grew a little as his jaw dropped in awe at how beautiful the instrument was. It was sleek and black with no scrapes or dings. 

“Do it,” The voice echoed in his head. It was his voice, but something that he didn’t remember being his. It was probably the remnants in his mind from the nogitsune but, that was a stretch. After all, it had been over two years since the incident. Two years of Scott rebuilding a broken Stiles from the ground up. It had been two years of harsh nightmares and angry stares from Chris Argent, not not Scott. Scott had held him the night they were back together and whispered four words that Stiles can still hear clear as day.

“I missed you, Stiles.”

But it didn’t matter now. Scott wasn’t here to say those words. Scott wasn’t here to stop him. He wasn’t here to remind Stiles that life was a precious gift, and the world would stop spinning without Stiles in it. You know why? Because Scott was wrong. The world had stopped spinning, but it wasn’t because of Stiles it was because of Scott. 

“I miss you Scott,” Stiles whispered through the newly formed tears. His left hand was shaking as he held the dagger and tried to focus at the task at hand. Make a cut anywhere on your body that’s not visible. Make a cut that will sting in the morning, but not get you sent to the hospital. Make a cut that later you will be ashamed to show your kids, but never tell them until you have to.

So he did. Stiles took the knife and ran it across his ivory skin. He stared down at the cut as the blood pooled to the surface and started to run down towards his hand. He felt a feeling of life washing over him. With a deep breath, he grabbed a kleenex and started to wipe off the dagger, ignoring the fact that the blood was dripping down onto his pants leg. 

“Stiles hurry up!” His dad called. Stiles froze looking in the mirror hoping with all his might that his dad wouldn’t come in. He was hoping that his dad would never see him like this because it would destroy him. So, Stiles had to keep this a secret, even if it killed him one day.

“One second,” He called, quickly fumbling to put away the dagger and find a band aid. He fumbled around as he heard quick footsteps coming up the stairs. His dad could obviously hear the commotion and was coming to help him. He rushed to the door and locked it just as his dad tried to knob.

“I’m naked!”

“Stiles I’m your dad I’ve seen you naked!” The sheriff hissed as he tried the knob again. Stiles took a slow breath and went back to his search as he ignored the string of cuss words leaving his dad's mouth. He finally found a box and started to put them on, all fifteen of them. Once that was taken care of, he spit into a kleenex and wiped up what was on his arm.

“Hold on dad I'm almost done” He called before pulling on his shirt and buttoning it up.

“You better be,” Stiles dad said, before moving back down the hall. “If you still want to make it I suggest you come,” His dad said, before moving back down the stairs. Stiles looked in the mirror at his red puffy eyes and calm exterior. His breathing had calmed, and now he felt relaxed. He did his buttons before giving himself one last look in the mirror.

“I love you Scott, I’m so sorry that I had to do this,” He say’s to the picture of Scott he keeps by his mirror before leaving and heading to the funeral.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I really just felt inspired to write this fic for my friends. I hope you enjoyed it even if it was painful.


End file.
